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The Forgotten House

For a short while we lived in English Indiana while I was a kid. The old house we lived in was an old Amish built house. It had been converted but not completely, my stepdad had to fix the bathroom. It was a small space that was separated from the rest of my room by a curtain, or at least that is the memory that has planted itself in my head. There was a creek out behind the house. I don't remember the name of it only that it was literally thirty feet from the kitchen and made an excellent spot to play with action figures. It was in the middle of nowhere and for whatever reason now it gives me the Heebie jeebies just thinking about it. The yard was small with a shed/open garage beside the house, no one parked under it. We all walked the creek one day and I remember findin a waterfall. Lots of fun.

We were there maybe three months or so and we ended up back where we were living before and the next weekend or so a tornado flattened the shed and English flooded.

I can't remember much about English then other than it was dirty.

The Art Room Below

"It's quiet, a little too quiet"-Zippo Man

"I smell a rat"-Matchstick

*Sniffs self*-The Frying Pan

It's insane to think sometimes.es that I have become a grown up, not the paltry attempt at adulthood that is fresh from high school, but the real deal, bills and all. It is at once exciting and terrifying. I hate the responsibility sometimes but at other times the responsibility is what keeps me straight.

I remember breaking down at the Dryden cinema one night, swimming at the green bridge in late summer, staying awake till seven in the morning after seeing the brand of empty Jonesville becomes after 2 AM, and many many other things from high school or just after.

The sweet dew of youth hath given way to the dust of labor in the bounds of adulthood and I cannot stop it, nor would I. The memories of yesterday would be ne'er so sweet if we were trapped there.

In short I am content.

Waiting

The hardest thing in the world is knowing there are things coming in the future and having to wait.
Gotta keep my head down and push on.

Living life at the RFC

Sometimes I just wanna burn it down....

Dust and Bones

Dust and Bones
Dust and Bones
From our birth till we're grown
Rusty voice and sorrows moan
Stuck in under
Dust and Bones

Dust and Bones
Dust and Bones
Life is lived then its flown
Last pillow a granite stone
Sifled under
Dust and Bones
-*
Sometimes I am tired and just fed up with the way things stack up. Work, bills, family trouble, and even grief, just one more bundle to lay on the stack. I lost my "step"dad last monday. I hadn't been around as much as I wanted, Everything is put on pause instantly, work is there but unconcerning,bills are there but unminded, family squabbles are laid aside, and we all stop finally to remember who we had all in some way or another forgotten. John was a scallawag and a rogue, at least as much he could be, and none of it serious. He was a good man, a hard worker, and he taught me a lot of things some big, some little, some I didn't even realize, but all of it was important.
I didn't break down and sob and weep and howl, but I shed some tears. I'll be fine but its odd how the empty place comes around and reminds you.

Green and Gray

Here I am sitting at the Cove Ridge Center parking lot and waiting for Courtney to come out from the job fair. Logan was getting restless so I dig aroumd the glove box and find an old NickelCreek CD. I am reminded once again why I like these guys. I was just a whippersnapper when I got into them, and hearing the melodies remind me of a lot of things. Good times, bad times, and all other kinds in between.

Sitting in a room in Indiana waiting for the right time to wind up where I knew I would. I knew that there somewhere around the courthouse square, or in the WalMart parking lot, or even in so dispicable and unlikely a place as the Hall of Dogs, or maybe in the snows and thaws, I left a piece of my past right there.

Sitting in a room in Ohio, listening to the sound of outside city limits. Knowing that even here my days are numbered, the ruins of society were spray painted in the retaining wall and pointed me to the wrong direction.

All this to come home and realize that the boy who felt like he was a man returned a boy still. Growing up isn't a set process, but rather a mish mash of mistakes, one liners, pranks, heartaches, and diasters mixed with all the fluid movements of a symphony.

I think from time to time, we all find ourselves between green and gray, pieces of ourselves both solidly centered and completely apart attached to some.place, or piece of our own history. We are parts of people and places all interwoven with time and memories.

The Passing of Time

It is an amazing thing how time flies. It seems like only yesterday I was on here posting stupid random things when I was in college. This journal like so many other things has slipped into the cracks of past and beem neglected.

Having a son is like having a smaller form of yourself that is an extremist. Its like a you that is ultra concentrated. Logan is awesome and I love him but I see so many little things in him that are like me its not funny. His overactive imagination, his completely scatterbrained perception of his surroundings, etc. I watch him and I see me as a child growing up.
Growing up is hard to do. Cares, pressures, and resosibilities all take over that amazing world you used to live in.

I'm right, I'm right, I'm right

Its wonderful to live in a world where some people are NEVER wrong all the while they find every percieved flaw in someone else because of jealousy, or a superior mindset. Those are forgivable but for the way the person has already swelled their own head with self praising notions of biblical mastery and sage like wisdom....

Angels don't use luggage

how is it that people can be so naive to think that because there is a crazy lady dressed all in black preaching at WalMart, she must be sent from God? While preachers in this area who are God called can't get an amen or really support at all from the public. Why this lady who looks like a Muslim dresses like a Muslim and identifies herself as a Muslim is being made into a mystery is beyond me...

Well here I am....

After a long time away through many adventures I have returned. more to come later as time and opportunity allow.


Posted via m.livejournal.com.

This Old House

Five Years ago (roughly) we moved into 1204 Leigh Avenue and we were younger, poorer, and daunted. There have been many things that have happened in five years,(the most comforting one being that we have graduated into adulthood with matching furniture.) the most notable even would have to be Logan being born. There was excitment, laughter, fights, tears, grief, worry, heartache, and more bounced off of these walls. Warmth and light shown from the windows. The monstrous yard that had to be mowed EVERY week, two stabs at gardening, and the never fixed lawn mower all were burdens, but were also fun looking back on it. Meals ate, plans made, this place was a part of so much. I'll miss it.
Nothing quite like the Princess Bride and homemade barbeque sandwiches....

Letter to an Atheist #2

Friend,
How often do you think of God? How often do you weigh the consequences of your actions not with the blind scales of justice, but with God's uncovered scale of judgment. The notion that a person can live as they please and then die and be done is incorrect. To presume that God is not going to judge us for sin is unreasonable considering we as humans made in the image of God are very quick to point out and demand injustices committed against us be dealt with. Do you ever wonder when its quiet if you are wrong, if you are on the right path? I know that for the time being it is gratifying, but in the end will it be worth it? Do you sometimes think about Hell, and if there really is one? Do you prepare yourself just in case you go there? What will you do if there is a God and you must give an account for yourself, will you make the cut, will the balances fall in your direction?

"Sinners in hell are not the fools they were on earth; in hell they do not laugh at
everlasting burnings; in the pit they do not despise the words, “eternal fire.” The
worm that never dieth, when it is gnawing, gnaws out all joke and laughter; you may
despise God now, and despise me now for what I say, but death will change your
note." Charles Spurgeon

Is it that you disbelieve now, or is it that you still hold an inkling of truth that you merely keep cut low so as not offend your conscience? Will you take disbelief to the grave as a hypocrite with half of you yearning for repentence and the other half twisted and foul cursing the God that gives you breath to do it. Friend there is no more important time in your life than now to return to God. I fear that if you hesitate much longer even that grace will be removed from you.

Rest assured that your disbelief has not shaken the foundations of that ivory throne, take solemn notice that your petulance has not threatened the Creator, but past that hold it near to your heart that with each hateful, spiteful breath that you breath out towards God, you bring yourself one step closer to the dreadful day in which you will stand before him. It does not have to be so for as fierce as his judgment is, his mercy is tender.

2 Corinthians 6:2
(For he saith, I have heard thee in a time accepted, and in the day of salvation have I succoured thee: behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.)

In Christ,
Nathan Hay

Letter to an Atheist #1

Dear friend,

I am going to attempt to write letters to you regularly. It is not my intention to cause contention, or strife, but merely to talk about God to you. I will disable comments as to keep the arguing down, but I feel like I need to do this. You may choose to read or not read the entries, that is up to you, but either way know that I love you and pray for you.

Your friend

Summer

Well I have to say that it has been a great summer so far. A lot of the youth group has gotten saved and the church is in revival. I have been given oppurtunities to preach of late and I am enjoying that. Mix all of that with the day to day joys of raising a kid and marriage and I have to say its pretty good all around.
Lookin forward to the weekend

జవాబుగా

1 Timothy 6:19-21

19 Laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life.

20 O Timothy, keep that which is committed to thy trust, avoiding profane and vain babblings, and oppositions of science falsely so called:

21 Which some professing have erred concerning the faith. Grace be with thee. Amen.


So everything's been goin pretty good lately and I have to say that despite being really sleepy all of a sudden I'm good. Logan is growing like a weed Courtney is using pinterest to expamd my waist band and work is steady. I cannot complain. The church has been growing and I am down to 6 classes in seminary, I have two others half done so that technically makes it five classes, but we're not working on technicalities.
In other news I've been readin Orson Scott Card's new book Earth Unaware about the first formic war from the Ender saga. Its been a good read so far. My dad and step mom are coming in from Indiana, and I'm looking forward to seein em even for just a little bit,its been a long time since I have. Tory is gettin married on Saturday and I have to play guitar for it.

In closing I will never fully grasp the concept of loading silverware in the dishwasher....it is too lofty for me.

up
Grow

crickets

Love the air today feels great outside. I like the days where its warm, but it drops off cold in the evening. It makes good snuggle weather:)

The Mower rides again...

I worked on my mower last week and got it going again and after a few hiccups early on I got it fixed up right good and mowed. It was nice to be able to mow my yard without sweating like a fiend.

In other news Logan held his first lightning bug tonight and took his first ride on the riding lawnmower and he also had his first taste of slush puppie. Thats a lot of firsts for him.

All is well...

May. 21st, 2012

Of course things do change 10 years ago I never thought I would be where I am right now. Its an odd thing how life catches up to you when you least expect it.

Roots

So here I sit at mom's at the end of thanksgiving day and just think a minute about life.

No self pity, no remorse, just an observation.

I am thankful that I was in the right places at the right times for the right people to influence my life.

I am thankful for the Lord Jesus Christ and the blood shed for me. I am thankful that I don't have an empty spot deep in my soul, thankful that even on the worst days I have hope.

I am thankful that I have roots and that they go deep.

Keep Calm and Carry On

For what its worth when waves dash high
And all around the tempest throngs
If we'll but stand firm in the stormy night
If we'll but keep calm and carry on
Psalm 127:4-5

4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.

5 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.


So here I am 27 and soon to be a father. It feels pretty good.

A quick update

I am going to be a father. Woot!
Let me tell you about Justin Allen. When we were in the second grade we became friends, we began a friendship over a dinosaur book, and if I'm not mistaken one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish. (I am probably mistaken.) Either way the point is we grew p together looking for fossils, doing NDJ and other odd and assorted things. In short over time we became like brothers. He was always a good guy, at least as good as a guy can be. He had hang-ups and pet peeves like everyone else. Like all children we fussed and quarreled from time to time, and all was resolved eventually. Time marched on and soon enough we turned into adult versions of our children selves and did the same old same old. Day in and out we worked laughed, fought, and rode around together.

In all the years of our friendship I can think of not a thing he did that was so heinous that I wished any ill on him. I wish no ill on him now.
Psalm 103
8The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy.

9He will not always chide: neither will he keep his anger for ever.

10He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.

11For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him.

12As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.

13Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him.

14For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust.

15As for man, his days are as grass: as a flower of the field, so he flourisheth.

16For the wind passeth over it, and it is gone; and the place thereof shall know it no more.

17But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children's children;

18To such as keep his covenant, and to those that remember his commandments to do them.



Some people may say that God is a cruel taskmaster full of ill intentions for all men. Yet here in the Old Testament is a picture of God Almighty not as a cruel hard taskmaster, but as a compassionate caretaker of men. Men often sink deeper into a bottomless pit by struggling against those sins that beset them. They'll fight and fight, sometimes valiantly and yet in the end without God a man still is slain in the end, a victim of his own sin cursed diseased soul.
So I was thinking the other day about Christmas. When I was five or six mom and dad told me on Christmas day that they were splitting up and we had to choose who we watned to live with. So even though I had no idea what was really happening I knew that it wasn't good. I chose mom and dad and Charlie drove off. I remember crying. I also remember playing with Christmas presents that were over large, I'm pretty sure it was so they would take our minds off of what was going on.

Fast Forward a few lears later and I was in a small trailer in Indiana. The snow was piling on thick and the day was waning on down. The trailer was filled with the soft conversation among those of us who knew that my grandad Hay's time would be ending soon. My father sat in the back room and sang gospel hymns to him. His notes trailed through the house and between conversation filled the silence. Then his breathing slowed and we all gathered and listened as his last breath slipped out of him and he slipped off into eternity. We waited adn cried while the undertaker came and we loaded him up in the hearse in the snow.

For a long time I didn't much care about Christmas, but Courtney has brought it out of me and I love it. So thanks baby.


Luke 2
10And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

11For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

Beach

So early this morning we got into the car and drove from Williamsburg to Virginia Beach. It was great, the traffic was kinda crazy from hampton on in but in the end it was worth it. We went straight to church and after the people in the church fed us and we had a decent time there. We then drove over to the hotel and checked in and then to the beach. I have to say t hat staring off into the blue water of the ocean makes me understand why men of old were drawn to the sea. I mean it holds a certain appeal.

Well, we're gettin ready to get outta here and head to church.

Romans 1

Romans 1

16For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek.

17For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written, The just shall live by faith.

18For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness;

19Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath shewed it unto them.

20For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse:

21Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.

22Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,

23And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.

24Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:

25Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.